The Lost and Found
What is connectivity to you? What is being lost and then found? What does it mean to feel in place and then suddenly out of place? Where does one find connectivity when one feels disconnected or out of place? What objects/ places/ things/ people/ creatures/ habits/ thoughts bring you peace? Why do we search for this feeling of safety, comfort? How do we connect to the non-physical? In which way do we relate to space in terms of comfort and safety. Is it an ‘artist’ thing to question or observe the idea of discomfort/disconnection or is it a topic that is arising because of the circumstances we are currently living in?.
This topic of connection feels important because it’s something so many of us can relate to in the times we have been going through but are also still in. It seems like we seek to build lives that are blanketed by safety nets, in constant search of that one thing that brings a sense of solace, whether it be faith, family, friends, our hobbies or our spaces. This work invites us to think about that thing (or those things) that we connect to and explore the probably perilous relationship we have with it.
a conversation of connection
I was going around
Lost and not found
But then there was you
Could I have seen through
I was going around
Lost but not found
Then there was you
Seeing me through
You waited for me
Until my eye caught you
And finally
I could see through
Zula, by Siu Lin, 2021
It’s been just over a year now since covid -19 happened in The Netherlands. The feeling of deja-vu creeps up on me as we enter spring again. In some ways I feel totally different, but sometimes it feels like I’m repeating the same thoughts and actions from a year ago. It makes me question if I’ve changed at all.
One thing that ebbs and flows is my connection to myself. If on one side of the spectrum you have deep self-insight and the other side you have complete superficiality, I have run marathons back and forth between the two. I seem to teeter between self awareness and ignorant bliss.
Documenting my body has been a way to ground myself in time and space. Taking selfies in my room, observing my physical changes, playing out my fantasies; it’s a way for me to connect with different versions of me.
By Siu Lin and Suelae
I cherish those (rare) moments when I truly spend time with myself. Connecting to my inner thoughts and desires. In the beginning I had more of those moments but lately I live in a blur, distract myself with stimuli. It’s too easy to rest on the surface. Especially as my personality is one that revels in escape. And when I feel the slightest bit of discomfort, I seek to forget about it. I have spent hours and hours over the last year trapped in Instagram, YouTube, or Netflix holes. Connected to a façade, disconnected from myself.
The snap shots are constructed realities but the moments that lead up to them are real and blissful. These selfies often occur after dancing, or working out, or after doing my makeup, all genuine moments of disconnect from screens and connecting to myself. In these moments my room becomes a vessel for connection, it’s my safe space, a place where I can imagine all the possibilities. But because it is my safe space I can indulge in both my good and bad habits, it's an ever evolving, toxic relationship .
Siu Lin
going back to roots
unlearning
animals show up
rotten / mum it's not that deep
space
meh
the 'S' word
our different identities
seeing the signs
Suelae
There were many conversations, deeper conversations, that we didn't include since we unfortunately didn't record them. These audio-fragments are just parts of our conversations that this collaboration brought to us, and to you. We hope you enjoy, and you're always welcome to contact us, for info or just a chat.
self-portrait: exposed yet hidden
expansive
moments of light
after going to the market, we sat in the park to revel over our finds. Celine, urged by the warm autumn light, took some photos
we met earlier that month, she came over to mine to get her hair braided and we've been friends ever since
sometimes I have these
moments of
stillness
so powerful
I feel like I've dissociated
trying to find the right daily routine.
again
morning, again
wakeup, again, move, don't move
move, check, eat, check
but I should really figure this out
really, I should figure this out
list of intentions, list my intentions, turns to list of presumptions, expectations
cycle cycle, next month, next time, try again, do it again
here we are, again
do you believe that animals can take the form of our loved ones?
Distortion, 2020, Siu Lin
Open space, pen and oil on canvas, Siu Lin
Safe space, Siu Lin, 2021
Siu Lin
Reconnection through work, conversations, and non-human beings. Also reconnecting to space. Reconnecting through photography again, and objects and places. Reconnecting in a time where it was easy to be disconnected and feeling out of place, full of insecurity and a feeling of not knowing where to be, or where to go.
@celinxrnest - Celine Wanjiru Ernest